Getting the Fire Back in Your Marriage - Part 1

Episode #10

Leadership starts at home so if your marriage is struggling it’s going to impact other areas of your leadership, especially your work and relationships. In today’s episode, I’m joined by my wife Micah for part 1 in a series about marriage. Like most marriages, yours probably started out on fire, but slowly began to fade over time. The good news is that you can get that fire back. In fact, the problems you’re facing in your marriage today can actually be the catalyst to building a fire that will last a lifetime.

Remember when your marriage was on fire? Everything was new and exciting. Phone calls lasted for hours. You couldn’t wait to be together. But as life happens, the fire begins to dim. You slowly drift apart until you wake up one day to find your marriage has lost its fire.

1. What are some reasons why couples drift apart in marriage?

  • Kids exhaust you physically when they’re little, and mentally as they get older.
  • Money problems can be a source of worry and anxiety.
  • Issues with in-laws can cause disagreements and stress.
  • Your spiritual maturity, or lack of, is exposed in how you treat your spouse.
  • All marriage problems stem from a lack of spiritual maturity.

2. How do you get the fire back?

  • Men and women define “fire” differently.
  • Building an actual fire is a lot like building the fire in your marriage.
  • It takes time, work, and patience.
  • The good news is you can get the fire back!

Key Point: All marriages have problems, but those problems can be the catalyst to finding love and build a lasting fire if you are willing to walk through the fire together.

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 1:6-7)

3. How do problems in marriage help you build a lasting fire?

  • The problems you’re facing will weigh you down. What will you do?

  • Your response will reveal the level of faith you have in Christ.

  • It’s not the size of the problem that defeats you, it’s your perspective.

  • Clinging to Jesus during the trials will bring Him honor and glory.

"The right perspective sees problems as temporary. The wrong perspective see problems as permanent. The right perspective knows problems will make us better. The wrong perspective allows problems to make us bitter.” – John Maxwell

4. What have we learned from walking through the fires in our marriage?

  • Be willing to ask for help.

  • Divorce is not an option.

  • Decide to be on the same team.

  • Consider what you’re arguing about; some battles aren’t worth it.

Final Thought: If you want your marriage to be on fire, you have to be willing to walk through the fire together.

Next Episode: Micah joins me again for Part 2 of this series on marriage.

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